Bananas, banana muffins and a kid named Edison

Banana is probably the most exploited fruit in the planet. After all, banana is one of the worlds most consumed foods, next to peanut butter.

As stated by The King himself.

Since bananas are that popular, wouldn’t it be fair to say that banana bread, or muffins for that matter has the same popularity? I wouldn’t even consider you a modern human if you have not tasted any baked products infused with bananas. They are generally adored by the public as a staple and it would be difficult to find a person that doesn’t eat bananas. He’s bananas.

Except for this kid named Edison. He was my classmate when I was in the first grade. He was like one of the stupid kids back then. We always make fun of his quiz scored because he almost always flunked them. Yeah, kids can be too cruel sometimes.

So my science teacher asked us to bring fruits. Any kind of fruit. I don’t know, maybe to shove it up our ass or something. I brought apples, Edison brought bananas.

Our teacher told us to bring out our fruits… and eat it. Maybe she had a fetish on kids eating fruits or something. I don’t know, we just ate it. This is when I saw the first fucked up thing in my life.

 

I was literally like this. Minus the spaghetti.

He was eating the banana like a corn in a cob! He was like munching it like a typewriter, from left to right. I forgot to ask him what tribe he was from because maybe if he’s a native Dumfuk, maybe I’ll reconsider.

I asked him, “Hey, why do you eat it like that?” He responded with a straight dumbfounded face: “Because I don’t like the tip. It tastes bitter.”

 

The only acceptable reaction at that time.

 

I was feeling like a smartass back then so I answered him back, “Why don’t you just cut off the tip, you’re wasting much of of the banana.” At a certain point, I believed that I managed to change his life. But nooooooo. He just looked at me and made this reaction:

Your argument is invalid.

 

And I just went on with my life. I wonder what ever happened to that guy. I don’t really recall his last name so I can’t find him in facebook. Meh, he probably still eats bananas the same fucking way.

Moving along to the real point of this post, Banana muffins.

Oh wait. Before anything else… I must say this first. Banana isn’t just ‘banana’ here in our country. If you happen to ask your local banana vendor for a ‘banana’ you’ll get a strange look and/or a very irritated response asking what KIND of banana you need. You need to be as specific as choosing your deodorant.

 

Oh don't you fuck with me, boy!

 

So here, I present you the 4 banana staples. Thank me later.

 

The Lakatan

 

The Asian cousin of the Cavendish

Lakatan or Lacatan os probably the most popular type of banana here. They are almost always present in the dining table along side with another favorite, the Mango. I can’t really say if the bruises and cuts are actually from mishandling since this is they’re like an extra feature, like a birthmark. Compared to Cavendish Bananas that are so smooth, you’ll even have a hard time telling it apart from a crayon.

Nice looking banana you got there, mate!

The second one is the Latundan.

Dundundundun!!

For plain eating, I actually prefer this kind of banana. They have thinner skin compared to the previous banana and the taste is lighter. If I didn’t have any health conditions, I can probably ate a whole bunch of this in one sitting! Oh, they’re really paler than Lakatan, it’s not just because of the quality of the picture.

The third on is Saba.

Sabanana!!

This banana right here is the most versatile of them all. Most bananas are just for eating (and a little baking) but this… I don’t even know where to start? How about some pictures?

YAY PICTURES!

Here are 6 images of different forms of Saba. I’ll try to discuss them one at a time.

1. Banana Cue. Here, when a word is suffixed by “cue”, most probably, it’s in a stick. Theoretically taken  from the word ‘barbecue’. Banana cue is just Saba cooked with caramelized brown sugar and put on a stick. Great afternoon snack with soda in a plastic bag.

 

You heard me. Don't pretend you didn't.

 

2. Maruya. It’s basically banana fritters sprinkled with (optional) sugar. I could really just stop here rather tha…

3. Turon. It’s like banana cue, but it’s first wrapped with like big wonton (shanghai) wrappers, filled with jackfruit and fried. It’s very crispy and very sweet.

I noticed that the bananas used in Turon is somewhat softer, or more ripe than the banana used in Banana cue. My theory is that, the banana’s that were bought today will be used for banana cue since they still have firmness in them. The next day, the leftovers will ripen up a bit. It will be too soft to be fried and we would not dare throw them away! It needs a casing to be fried… BAM! Turon was born.

 

Moral lesson? Shanghai Wrappers are not good condom substitute.

 

Dude, it's for your... other head.

4. Minatamis na Saba. The bananas are boiled in water and a lot of sugar. So much that it can kill a diabetic within 50 miles. This is a very versatile dessert. Can be eaten hot or cold. Added with ice and milk and you got Saging con Hielo (Bananas in Ice). Can be kept in the ref as a present for your future grandson.

 

Literally translates as 'Diabetic Poison'

5. Boiled. I can go on and on and on… you wouldn’t even care.

6. Let it ripen end eat it.

The forth is the very cute Senorita.

Senorita~ As small as your pinky!

This littlest little banana here is called the Senorita, because, you know, it’s small. This little banana is also the sweetest of them all. The flesh is very soft and very smooth.

As small as a bee. As sweet as honey!

See guys! Not bigger is not always better! I feel sorry for you though…

And as a bonus banana, the freakishly amazing Red Banana.

NO FREAKING PUN INTENDED

I have seen this many times but have not gotten the chance to taste it. It’s kinda scary actually….

I better stop here since this is turning into an Filipino Foodie Lecture most of us got when out teachers get bored during elementary.

And now, as promised… FREAKING BANANA MUFFINS.

 

Mashed Lakatan

First of all, I used Lakatan since it’s much more fragrant that any other bananas. Next time though, I’m gonna use Senorita~

The recipe calls for at least 400-500 grams of peeled and mashed bananas but I wanted mine to be more moist and soft so I added more. No one’s gonna shoot you if you do.

 

Sticky, gooey and yummy. I think it's better... unbaked.

The recipe instructs that I first mix and sift all the dry ingredients first and fold them to the wet. I say Neigh. Add them together and mix them! With respect to the original recipe, there’s a clear reason why she instructs it that way. No one’s gonna shoot me if I do. Let’s just put it at that.

 

 

Naked Nuts!

The original recipe suggested that walnuts are best for this dish. I wouldn’t disagree on that, however, walnuts are not readily available here. The only available type of nut available within the vicinity are peanuts, so I used them. Heck, no ones gonna shoot me if I did.

Just a side note though, my mom’s comment was: whenever peanuts was used in any of my baked goods, they all tasted cheap and industrial. I don’t know. She’s probably right. She’s my mom after all! 🙂

 

Spooned them in muffin pans~

 

Spooned them equally… and equally messy on a muffin pan. So I messed it up! No one’s gonna shoot me if I did!

After 25 mins… You know what’s next?

 

CAN YOU SMEELLALALALALA! -The Rock

You know what’s great about muffins? Aside from it’s really easy and really tasty?

 

Very very moist!

You don’t need to rest them! Unlike banana loaves or banana cakes that need at least 30 mins to cool before consuming to take it out of the pan as clean as possible. This, as long as your pain tolerance can handle it, pop them out of the mold! Eat them while it’s hot! Crack one open, stick your nose in and get hypnotized by the subtle smell of bananas and a hint of cinnamon.

I actually had 2 of them. No one’s gonna shoot me, right?

 

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6 Comments

Filed under Food

6 responses to “Bananas, banana muffins and a kid named Edison

  1. vroomvroom

    nice idol hahaha.. 😀

    ganda nang blog ayus na ayus

  2. sachi

    pls dont shoot me on this stupid question:

    can i use a regular oven toaster when making muffins?

    tia..keep baking & keep us inspired 🙂

    • I doubt you can bake good cupcakes in an oven toaster. But I haven’t tried it though. But I really doubt you can bake anything good there since baking relies on strict temperature control. 😦

  3. Minatamis na Saba, this picture makes me drool….I must know how to make this. Here we only have bananas, which is a shame. I can only find different kind of bananas in special markets but now I can try to make this minatamis.

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